Friday, August 28, 2009

Just Cold Makin' Stuff Up

We apparently live in an age where any outlandish lie about Obama and the Democrats can gain media traction. Here's one now! So I decided to come up with some outlandish lies about Republicans just to see if I could get them to catch on. Keep in mind, these are all lies written by a treacherous liberal. You shouldn't believe them...but you will! So here's a peek at the upcoming Republican policy platform:

The GOP will take your children away and force them to live in a moon colony. How will you feel when you see your kids flying away on a moon rocket? I bet you'll feel bad.

The GOP will force old people to work on cactus plantations in the desert southwest. Something about that just doesn't sit right with me.

You know that favorite TV show of yours? The Republicans want to cancel it.

The Republican health plan requires all Americans to take Dr. Sanjay Gupta as their personal physician. Sorry, that doesn't sound like the land of freedom to me.

The GOP will require all domestic pets to be added to a communal soup pot.

Every morning the Republican leadership gathers and prays - for you to die!!

An old man and his grandson were walking along a dirt road, fishing poles resting against their shoulders, the early morning quiet but for their laughter. Just then Republican Senator Chuck Grassley stepped out of the bushes and snapped their fishing poles in half with a derisive sneer. Then he threw the shredded remnants of a health reform bill in their faces. That just seems way beyond the pale.

The GOP will require each family to have at least one child named "Mega-Dittos." That child will, of course, be sent to the moon.

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